JHem

Oh, how I wonder if there’s someone who’ll love me. Someone I can truly love without a sense of pride. Not a girl to call my own, But a girl who feels like home. Just a girl to hold me in her arms, A girl who’s heart is filled with love. Grateful for the moments when our hearts embrace, We’ll cuddle one another with the peace we’ve made. Content and free of worry, we’ll live without great haste, For our bond will withstand even the deepest of fears. Earnestly, we’ll express our love for each other, But not from the heart-wrecking fear of loneliness, But from the absolute vulnerability of being cared for. She’s not mine, yet she'll choose to be there, by my side, Walking hand in hand in the comfort of one another’s presence. Mindfully dancing within the bliss of the unconditional love we’ll share, Our eyes meet, our arms hug, and our lips lay rest with one another’s.

I’m not still, as I’m not formless, unwilling to accept. Unresisting, I am not, for I’m afraid to let it all go. Constrained by my attachments to my beliefs, I suffer for my wishes of how I wish life were. Idea’s cloud my mind, whispering what’s wrong Unable to be still, in the now, anxiety holds me As freedom from concepts still blur out space, Peace of mind becomes hostaged by fear. Why can’t I just let go? Why am I still grasping? Afraid that my mind will tell me I’m inadequate, I hold on to the illusions brought about by thoughts. So my mind chatters endlessly as it craves attention. So, why is it that I simply cannot be like water? Flowing throughout life without resistance? It’s as if the world’s firing at me this horrid test. My mind races fast as peace hides in this mess. I’m falling apart as I seek answers. So, I feel that I must surrender. To this never ending flux I can’t see. For the search itself pains me. There’s no other way than to just be.

You were the one I would pray for, everyday. As you helped me escape the passing days. You were the reason why I would never drop my smile. As my heart was warmed with the gift of your presence. But I’ve come to realize, My joy’s too reliant on you. So I’m going to let it all go, Or I’ll never feel safe at home. As the time passes me by, I feel so alien from my light. So I’ve come here to say, It’s time we went separate ways. As you were the one who shielded me from I. But I won’t keep running away from me. For I’ll never love myself if all I do is look to you. Even though I’m afraid of the days without you, I can’t run away from my own guiding light. Or I’ll never be able to find peace of mind.

Kindness brings out the love in everyone's heart. The gentle light that illuminates darkened pain. Just a simple acknowledgement To turn that frown upside down. Some comfort during brittle times Allows us to heal from inside. This is all we need to push onwards, Towards the scary mist that binds us. Letting go of righteousness to let kindness and gratitude in Begets a calming inner peace resonating from our hearts That’s not afraid of the monsters from within or outwards. Don’t let anger, judgement or justice get in the way of being kind, For everyone struggles from inside, whether noticeable or not. When antagonized by a crying heart, Don’t be consumed by your anger. Let go and do not judge them as evil, For our “justice” will crush their hearts. Be honest, but do not let your ego betray the love of fragile beings. Feel unsettling emotions, so vulnerability and compassion can shine. For we’re all in this together, all beings as one entity among the whole. Don’t be a threat to thos

Tired of the nights that beat empty, I’m drained of life as the days pass by Lonely from the hole that’s empty of deep intimacy, I feel alienated from the world that feels so faint. Who’s here to comfort me? What’s my life’s purpose? When do I feel protected? Where is love hiding at? How do I begin this quest? Why do I feel so out of sync? The world’s beauty just isn't what it once was. As I see imperfections becoming inadequacies. Cold and empty of color, Life's awe doesn't bloom Vibrantly and vivaciously Since the day I've fallen. The night’s darkness is all I have to hide in solace, For the serenity of light illuminates my despair. Pain is all I hold on to as peace is but a dream To one whose eyes are engulfed by lens of fear, Frightened to look at reality just the way it is. Don’t be quick to assume, For hope has yet to vanish. She’s just hid herself well. When will she come out? Once life’s fully embraced. Both the light and the dark. As the middle path is key.

Forever, I want you to be here, So you can show me you care. I can’t dream of a life of awe without you, So, I pray, that you’ll never leave my side. When you’re here, my dim heart’s darkness subsides, Without you, there’s only fear that binds my timid light. Each unsettling breath I breathe trembles my broken soul, Yet, your gracious presence helps ease the horrid quake. With each and every encounter, My grateful heart whispers, I love you for you, all of you, Silently, I kneel down and pray, I hope you’ll never go away. So, I earnestly ask of you, forever stay by me, I say, as our bond fills me with immense glee. Hold me close in your warm embrace, As you shelter my shivering lips with yours, A kiss that shields my heart from loneliness. With all the love in my anxious heart, I say, Reciprocate, so my heart won’t go astray. Loving your affection brings color to my day.

Will you give me room to breathe? I pray that you will. Left alone with my thoughts, Love dims without room for air. You say that you love me, Or so that’s what you speak. Unsure, anxiety binds my mind. For once, I’d like some honesty. Life is so cold living in doubt. Yet I can’t make my embers spark. Masqueradeing my emotions, Every moment becomes hollow. Awake, I look for change. With newfound courage, All will become just fine. Yours truly, your shadow

Empty, I lay without feeling. Lonely, I wander without purpose. Null of meaning, I walk about hesitantly. Void of direction, Every step is without value Senses, neglected as with true consciousness. Self affirmations, abandoned like naive hope. Doubt covers my minds eyes as my heart cowers in fear. Uncertainty bears its fruits as acceptance showers away. Numbed of all sensations during times of uneased anxiety. Blinded by cravings, denial, the illusions of the hazed mind. Walls of dissatisfaction begin to illuminate hollow thoughts. I’ve become null and void as the self begs for new life. Without breath, I’m unable to portray my earnest conviction. Constricted of love, my ill beating heart yearns to be loved.

I don’t want to fight, Yet, I can’t avoid this struggle. I’m forced to take action, Or forever be held back by fear. Go farther into the hazy unknown? Or retreat into old comfort? A sincere life, That’s my craving. Will the new breath new life into me? Or will the new take life from me? Certainly, I’ll never know until I take a chance.

Emptiness, the feeling that won’t go astray. Awe, the wonders that have left in dismay Slowly, my world changes. Bit by bit, my thoughts fade. Time ticks as I grasp for meaning. Life moves on as I slip away. Compassion fades as loneliness grows. Doubt invades my mind as love walks away. Confused, I write to understand. Distraught, I crawl around uncertainty. Memories, can I trust them? Time, have you deluded them? Heart, have you tainted them? Mind, have you given up on them? I raise these questions, yet... I don’t know anymore...

Sleep, the healer of distress. Nights medicine for the day. Too little, I walk with eyes closed. Too much, my heart beats ill. Nights without rest give birth to days without life. Eyes lay open as my mind goes astray into the void. Rest, the key to vulnerability, to love. Sleep, the mother of the heart.

On and on I feel wary of every passing day, I’m taken aback as I feel my heart race. The flow of time moves as if I were going to die, So why, I ask, should I take the time to try, When my own efforts won’t reach the sky? It’s as if my life grew into a wavering lie. Depressed inside, I’ve slowed down my own pace, Efforts fade as this feeling of sadness won’t dissipate. All alone, I have nothing at stake, Yet I yearn for love for my own sake. The nightmares haunt me of my innocence, While the days alert me that I’ve become so tense. Sanity slowly fades away, Comprehension goes astray, Deceit turns my world into dismay. Hope and faith are all that stay, That’s all that hold onto this day.

I love you, dearly. Loving like no other, One in a million, Vivacious yet gentle, Embraced by angels. You’re the only one I see, Omniscient as all can be, Untamed like the open sea. Daring, yet full of grace, Elegance within the storm, A being of benevolence, Rapport to all, Let me be the one to say, You’re the reason I smile.

Lift up my hope, Only to crush my heart. Violation of my soul, Emptied me of joy. Havoc that I cannot cope, Unfolds the dark art. Rain of the eyes cry fool, Treated as another toy. Sincerely, Sadness

The best day is… When I let go of the past, When I’m not afraid of what lies ahead, When I focus on the love around me. The day I’m honest with myself, The day I free myself of illusions, The day I focus on the present. The best day is when I embrace myself, The day I accept the things I can change, Letting go of the things out of my control. To me, that's the day I find inner peace.

Looking past what I wish the world were, I see life for what it is. Emptied of all prejudice, I'm able to see the world accurately. Removing my mask, I become my authentic self, I become human. An emotional, intellectual and yet vulnerable being. Letting go of being right, I free myself of imaginary restrictions. Moving on from my desires, my mind becomes at peace with my heart. I'm not psychic, so why not embrace uncertainty? I've done my best, so I'm able to let go of what's out of my reach. I'm not invincible, nor am I perfect. Yet, I accept myself as the human being that I am.

I want to take you to a place where dreams are solid gold. To a place where you can't hide behind that mask of yours. Give me your eyes, your ears and your mind. I'm going to tell you how to get there! I can't control the way I truly feel. So why do I hide it to please fear? I question if what I see and feel are real. And I ask if my mind's distorting my reality. Am I strong enough to fight for what I believe in? Or will I sell my soul to the inner demon of despair? Nothing's free so you've got to make a sacrifice. When you commit, remember, nothing's impossible. I have faith in myself because I'm not afraid to lose. I can't fail, only learn and grow from my mistakes. I don't need a mask or I'll just attract nothing but deceit outside. When I'm honest with myself I intertwine with all the love inside.