16. Attached to Perceptions, Illusions Break Me.

I’m not still, as I’m not formless, unwilling to accept.
Unresisting, I am not, for I’m afraid to let it all go.

Constrained by my attachments to my beliefs,
I suffer for my wishes of how I wish life were.

Idea’s cloud my mind, whispering what’s wrong
Unable to be still, in the now, anxiety holds me

As freedom from concepts still blur out space,
Peace of mind becomes hostaged by fear.

Why can’t I just let go?
Why am I still grasping?

Afraid that my mind will tell me I’m inadequate,
I hold on to the illusions brought about by thoughts.
So my mind chatters endlessly as it craves attention.

So, why is it that I simply cannot be like water?
Flowing throughout life without resistance?
It’s as if the world’s firing at me this horrid test.
My mind races fast as peace hides in this mess.

I’m falling apart as I seek answers.
So, I feel that I must surrender.
To this never ending flux I can’t see.
For the search itself pains me.
There’s no other way than to just be.

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