JHem

I was trying to stay in my comfort, But negligence brought only my demise. Many attempts to stay within my port. As futile as playing with death through lies. Closing my arms as I stay on my own, I refuse help to get me off the ground. This was a crying of my inner tone. Trusting my blinding pride kept the cold bound. I was slowly dying from this frostbite. I had to humble down or stay frozen. This chill had to be overcome with light. Now, sun, melt this deep freeze for my garden! Finding strength being alone caused my storm. Extending my arm outwards kept me warm.

Feet slipping at home. You never know when you'll fall back From stress exerted that caused you to sweat. Hands losing their grip. Always grasping for something more Hoping it'll stop you from losing balance. Mind melting apart. Logic losses it's reason As each act becomes programed. Heart racing to its death. No longer filled with care When filler replaces solitude. What was once a solid foundation Loses its form and falls apart. Now seeping to change Into its adversity, willingly.

To go back to my den. Every scratch cost a yen. I don't know when. Now I'm in line. I take a bit of pine Nesting in wine Enveloped in what's mine. Enriched next to my mate I see our holy trait Giving me a date Hovering at this rate To make me late. Selling my newly made den, Enticed by your ten, Voted by more than men. Every note from my pen Now brings me my Zen. So I'm betwixt I have new kicks X out my broken tricks! For now I'm alive! I'm willing to take the dive! Vices pierced with knives Even when not with my hive. For the poor Or remembering past lore Under a mind under bore Remembering my life's tour. To finally give me Hours of being free. Remember my tree. Everlastingly shade thee Even when lying in misery. Too many things aren't true. Who made this poo? Only people who never grew. On the days yawn, Null of any true dawn, Eradicated by my pawn. Zero time to be a hero. Erasing

I want to write. I want it to rhyme. I want it to flow. I want it to be smooth. How do I do this? I'm putting words down to be framed. Letters slipping out of my mind untamed. Like skating down the frozen river To get rid of anxiety's shiver, This is how I trained.

Gold towers. Soft locks. Peasantly admiring you. Hard at heart for something new. To be enveloped by royalty. To abandon the ordinary. I challenged my fate To walk in your robe. But when I held your cold dead body, I knew that makeup hid your death.

I lose my shape Taking on your guise. Molding in your form. Becoming just another twin. I seek the mirror to see myself, But I see your doppelganger . Chipping off my originality To achieve perfect symmetry.

Taking on your form, I've taken a bit of the norm. Shedding my purity Slowly with conformity. Eyeless to see If that is me.

Pushing and pushing, Seeking after seeking. Moving with heart pierced From an arrow muting sanctuary. Chasing after moons When its light no longer satiates. Hunting down tomorrow's glory. Hoping to make history. No longer having footing rooted, The sprint for a throne crumbles. Having nowhere else to go Once haste outpaces form. Slipping away from heaven. Falling into the ground. Rooted in Earth at last, The heart pumps out it's bloodlust. Now, the hearts poison runs dry. Seeing the fleeting of meeting tomorrow. Stretching out and breathing out tomorrow's contract. Expanding today's lungs with air untainted with worry.

Brave is when you walk in the unknown. Brave is when you walk in worn out shoes. Brave is when you are falling apart. Brave is when you see it through. Brave is when you know it's okay. Brave is when you know it's not okay. Brave is when you're not afraid to color outside the line. Brave is when you're okay being afraid to stand out and shine. Being brave is when you acknowledge that you're alive.

Raining down From the clouds. Losing my viscosity Too endure concrete falls. To split from home. To sprinkle out of line. When I was with. When I was informed. To flowing on my own. To riding my own wave. Dripping from habits destroying my mind, So I can wash to shore to clean inside. Sometimes mixed with salt, But eventually purified To be a source of life .

It's not so bad. Not being great. My slow drain of energy isn't so sad When living in being okay is it's own treat. When the door shuts, I become glad. It lets me escape from the heat. Cooling off in solitude when I'm mad Let's me get in touch with my own beat. I'm just a lad Looking for a seat.

I lived my days Outside of myself. I put my book on the shelf, But my heart pays For walking out of my shoes. These were steps That made no sound. These were steps That were unseen. These were steps That moved in place. Living as a shadow. Living life outside of me. Living secondary to myself. Living with a painted eye. Dying as a person. Dying life from disconnection. Dying secondhand to experience. Dying with a filtered eye. This is when I live your life Not knowing where I stand. My feet not touching the ground.

I can remember the days forgone, But it stops me from seeing today. I can remember when I flowed with the wind, But it stops me from moving today. I can remember being in calm, But it stops me from resting today. I want things to be like before, So today is something I ignore. I want to learn in yesterday, But those problems aren't today's. I want to live in memory, So I don't catch up with today's misery.

You were the tree that had my back When the world wouldn't let me rest. Your leaves hid me from the sun That was putting me in the spotlight. But now I see Your shade kept me from light That held everyone together. It was a comfortable apathy I hid in, Disconnecting me from being apart of life. The cover you provided Helped me remember The rest I needed, But I indulged. I wanted to trust the security of Rest from the warm rays. Yet, it contained the energy needed For me to get back on my feet And back into the world with everyone

It's rather nerve-racking To feel so alone again I feel the desire to start crying From remembrance of being slain Just another shot of self-doubt No longer looking forward to dreams Only the tasteless impossibility Of closing off from all this trembling Who would truly know What it's really like to be all alone I only embody the senseless tone As I begin hitting another low Don't pray for me Don't tell me it'll get better Just an uninquisited sympathy There's no hope to see! I don't believe in faith I don't believe in forever I believe in uncertainty I believe in impermanence I don't believe I'm meant for much You may say how I can feel such I believe I'm bound by loneliness You may say I don't deserve this mess But who's to say your sentiments Will cover over my downfall from Leaking insides eroding my eyes I'm hiding my prayers in a forgotten tent They've been shaken and torn to crumbs I don'

I've always felt alone To some degree On my own Or with all I've chased after people Who were only good to fiddle I've fallin’ with all my heart Then I felt my life begin to start But their only impact Was my loss of faith In believing in the act That love is to stay I know the visceral shattering of my heart I know the tears from your eyes that I initiated Why believe in love When my arm extended Never reached you? Why believe in love When I have too Never returned your gaze? Why give time and effort When I am unwilling When you're unwilling When we're unwilling? Yet, why be alone When I know I was made To not do things on my own Yet, loneliness brings its shade The loneliness of Never having to be reliable The aloneness of Never having to be vulnerable This is my fable Of standing on my own two feet Without the need of another Never having to open up And meet you for who you are Yet, closed off from meeting who I am It's t

My steps are either Exaggerated or Subtle Another step forward was overshot Another backstep not far enough I couldn't pace my movements accurately It was deterred by the winds of life Like I had little to no footing I was a byproduct of her mood swings Like I was gliding with her air As she blew me her way I never realized Until I had fallen down Body broken on solid concrete That I’ve never actually touched the ground

I don't know why I'm here I'm slipping on ambition I see my mirror Looking into my own treason I wake up But I don't know What I'm breathing for Running from my regrets Only to draw out more mistakes A never ending rippled lake A forming nightmare Seeing that I don't care Where my breath comes from I'm running in the loop Of a neverending moment Of running on empty Breathing in dry Cold, cold, decaying sincerity I'm running on empty Just dishonest sympathy With no real empathy When my image Outshines my integrity Living the life of moving forward When I'm still staring into the past Covering my eyes from pain Walking with my shadow that never leaves It's an ongoing rhythm of unceasing anxiety I do it to hide from the main reason That I tell myself that it's best for me to go alone No real reason to bond My desire for real connection is gone When all I know are hands letting go I do it for the hidden heartbreak

It hasn't been long, but I'm glad to share in your laughter Soft giggles along with earthquakes I love showing the world your passion Your open and carefree clumsiness Messy but sincere expressions It's like meeting you Has helped me look forward to Meeting myself It's great no longer having To hide my smiles When you're enjoying mine I'm no longer masked My joy basks in yours My nervous grip softens As my heart opens With the fresh blown air You breathe through me When I see your gaze on mine With no desire to turn away I meet myself for the first time I ran from bed haunting nightmares That you're tending to As malnourished innocence Thank you for sharing your life