78. Alone With Everyone

I've always felt alone
To some degree
On my own
Or with all

I've chased after people
Who were only good to fiddle
I've fallin’ with all my heart
Then I felt my life begin to start

But their only impact
Was my loss of faith
In believing in the act
That love is to stay

I know the visceral shattering of my heart
I know the tears from your eyes that I initiated

Why believe in love
When my arm extended
Never reached you?

Why believe in love
When I have too
Never returned your gaze?

Why give time and effort
When I am unwilling
When you're unwilling
When we're unwilling?

Yet, why be alone
When I know I was made
To not do things on my own
Yet, loneliness brings its shade

The loneliness of
Never having to be reliable
The aloneness of
Never having to be vulnerable

This is my fable
Of standing on my own two feet
Without the need of another

Never having to open up
And meet you for who you are
Yet, closed off from meeting who I am

It's time to throw in the towel
Maybe it's better to turn a blind eye
Rather than put in the effort for chasing dreams

My reflection returns only a scowl
For never bothering to continue to try
As my spirit no longer gleams

Perhaps it's only a myth
To cross paths with someone
Who'll meet you halfway

A partner that never gets you to question their loyalty
Being side by side someone who is always curious
For your wellbeing and how it syncs up with theirs
Am I willing to toss this aside to be on my own?