100. Devil's Advocate

Bathing in misery has got me dealing.
I had been wound up so tight,
Only wanting to be blessed by light.
That was until one faithful night.

I zigzagged drunkenly towards the fireplace.
I became tired of doing right in great haste.
I no longer wanted to reach for first place.
This was when I had a descent from grace.

I gave my soul to be devoured by the devil.
My life no longer grew towards a goal,
So I grabbed for one more lick of pleasure.
Reaching out for sin had no more pressure.

After being accustomed,
I felt I had blossomed.

Lucifer couldn’t swallow my old ambition,
So he fought to return it through attrition.

But I no longer claimed custody.
Life with no fear of wrong became serenity.
Some may say I’ve grown to become a pity,
But selling my humanity gave me such clarity.

I had been wrought with being clean cut.
Now I feel my way through unkept ambiguity.
I thought this apathy would turn me into a mutt,
But it feels like trusting my gut has given new purity.

I put my foot down on the ground and it shook the world around me.
There was no way I would return to being controlled by ideals of perfection.
My damnation is what brought me so close to being my own deity.

As I felt free of importance,
I grew to feel omnipotence.
It was as if I no longer had anything to bear,
That is until I felt nothing when my eyes let out a tear.