JHem

Tired of the nights that beat empty, I’m drained of life as the days pass by Lonely from the hole that’s empty of deep intimacy, I feel alienated from the world that feels so faint. Who’s here to comfort me? What’s my life’s purpose? When do I feel protected? Where is love hiding at? How do I begin this quest? Why do I feel so out of sync? The world’s beauty just isn't what it once was. As I see imperfections becoming inadequacies. Cold and empty of color, Life's awe doesn't bloom Vibrantly and vivaciously Since the day I've fallen. The night’s darkness is all I have to hide in solace, For the serenity of light illuminates my despair. Pain is all I hold on to as peace is but a dream To one whose eyes are engulfed by lens of fear, Frightened to look at reality just the way it is. Don’t be quick to assume, For hope has yet to vanish. She’s just hid herself well. When will she come out? Once life’s fully embraced. Both the light and the dark. As the middle path is key.

Forever, I want you to be here, So you can show me you care. I can’t dream of a life of awe without you, So, I pray, that you’ll never leave my side. When you’re here, my dim heart’s darkness subsides, Without you, there’s only fear that binds my timid light. Each unsettling breath I breathe trembles my broken soul, Yet, your gracious presence helps ease the horrid quake. With each and every encounter, My grateful heart whispers, I love you for you, all of you, Silently, I kneel down and pray, I hope you’ll never go away. So, I earnestly ask of you, forever stay by me, I say, as our bond fills me with immense glee. Hold me close in your warm embrace, As you shelter my shivering lips with yours, A kiss that shields my heart from loneliness. With all the love in my anxious heart, I say, Reciprocate, so my heart won’t go astray. Loving your affection brings color to my day.

Will you give me room to breathe? I pray that you will. Left alone with my thoughts, Love dims without room for air. You say that you love me, Or so that’s what you speak. Unsure, anxiety binds my mind. For once, I’d like some honesty. Life is so cold living in doubt. Yet I can’t make my embers spark. Masqueradeing my emotions, Every moment becomes hollow. Awake, I look for change. With newfound courage, All will become just fine. Yours truly, your shadow

Empty, I lay without feeling. Lonely, I wander without purpose. Null of meaning, I walk about hesitantly. Void of direction, Every step is without value Senses, neglected as with true consciousness. Self affirmations, abandoned like naive hope. Doubt covers my minds eyes as my heart cowers in fear. Uncertainty bears its fruits as acceptance showers away. Numbed of all sensations during times of uneased anxiety. Blinded by cravings, denial, the illusions of the hazed mind. Walls of dissatisfaction begin to illuminate hollow thoughts. I’ve become null and void as the self begs for new life. Without breath, I’m unable to portray my earnest conviction. Constricted of love, my ill beating heart yearns to be loved.

I don’t want to fight, Yet, I can’t avoid this struggle. I’m forced to take action, Or forever be held back by fear. Go farther into the hazy unknown? Or retreat into old comfort? A sincere life, That’s my craving. Will the new breath new life into me? Or will the new take life from me? Certainly, I’ll never know until I take a chance.

Emptiness, the feeling that won’t go astray. Awe, the wonders that have left in dismay Slowly, my world changes. Bit by bit, my thoughts fade. Time ticks as I grasp for meaning. Life moves on as I slip away. Compassion fades as loneliness grows. Doubt invades my mind as love walks away. Confused, I write to understand. Distraught, I crawl around uncertainty. Memories, can I trust them? Time, have you deluded them? Heart, have you tainted them? Mind, have you given up on them? I raise these questions, yet... I don’t know anymore...

Sleep, the healer of distress. Nights medicine for the day. Too little, I walk with eyes closed. Too much, my heart beats ill. Nights without rest give birth to days without life. Eyes lay open as my mind goes astray into the void. Rest, the key to vulnerability, to love. Sleep, the mother of the heart.