200. I Never Asked

To be ambitious,

Overachieving with perfect marks,

Inking over feelings of shame I hide.

As they say: "work yourself to death."

To be beautiful,

Sometimes, the words that escape,

My inaction to injustice,

Is truly ugly. 

To be intelligent 

By presenting information,

Because of sleepless nights,

Too ashamed of being "wrong."

To be charming 

Enough to know just the right thing to say.

Trust me, with the neglect you've felt,

It'll addict you more than drugs. 

To be nice

Enough to ignore myself for you,

Like a pillow after a long day,

Appreciated but slept on.

Whatever you see,

I hate to break it to you,

Were all a projection of yours.

Any and all have been an accident.

But that doesn't deny I can still be seen

To be carefree enough

To aim for the impossible,

Not be crushed by the pressure

As I never set a criteria for failure.

To be sparkling enough

For strangers to be curious

Why I don't match my light

To the light of the room.

To be smart enough 

To say: "I don't know."

Have you noticed?

Knowledge isn't facts.

To be interesting enough 

Without an ounce of seduction.

I have trophies I can show off to you,

But I don't need a thing to convince me.

To be sincere enough 

Where free means vulnerable 

And not keep feelings ethereal.

Not flattery, but warm and fuzzies.

Any and all have been an accident,

But, I hope, like I have, 

You choose to see the best in me,

As I do for you.

Some nerd smarter than me called it "innocence."