94. Walking Insecurely

I drafted behind teachers and peers.
Tailing them, hoping my insecurities disappear.
Hoping that following someone great,
There'd be no reason for me to make mistakes.
I had the honor of walking in someone's footsteps,
But I was never safe in my own skin hoping to be contempt.

I wanted to be faultless.
No more reason to fall apart endlessly.
I looked for perfection in masters.
I tried to become their heir.

Hoping mastery would prevent me from being hopeless.
It was my desire to be without being messy.
The other side was full of rich, green pastures.
But it had become too much to bare!

I chased after glory.
I followed them thoughtlessly.
I became a robot programed to become you

My silent whisper for perfection was self defeating.
I wanted to be the predecessor to legends.
But that destroyed my individuality.
It wasn't until I found my ground
That strength came to me
As I no longer feared myself.