JHem

I used to be weak and scrawny. I was deficient in calcium. No muscle, no brawny My heart was weak, Skin pale and bleak. Life brought me depression, Until I found food that gave me reason. If I wanted to be pumping iron, I had to sink these teeth Into Daeznutz lmao gotem

I would crawl to get out of bed, I would tiptoe throughout my day, I would run on empty for so long. I'd take delicate steps, Planned out routines, To navigate my maze Until my fingertips caught fire. I touched the webs that had me Caught in an intricate trap And I burned it all down My sudden change may seem random, But this chaos isn't arbitrary. I'm simply returning to my sanctum Of no longer being cautionary. When my breaths are longer, When my breaths are fuller, My body ignites as embers To stew a meal full of wonders.

The cold covers me In a blanket of shame. Working in the shadows Casted by the sun hitting your kingdom, This is my punishment for misdeeds Giving up my romance, To save yours. I am in service To let you dance I draw my sword for no cheers, Only to cut my self of past tears. I lay awake at night to keep watch. My shield is raised To be the wall That stops nightmares From invading dreams The crows caw call us To sing this hymn that's sang Throughout the monastery. They're only words to beat us down, To keep us from being redeemed. Until someone here wakes up, And we remember what it is to live again

I've been caught in a dream. Dragging my feet around and around. Daydreaming of shedding the dirt off my skin, So I can put on a new face. But spinning my wheels has me burnt out. I take my drive headstrong. Too afraid too see where I'm going, I race blindfolded head on Until I crash. As I lay in my own blood, I'm visited by my own ghost Reminding me of days past How long did this last? I used to make the most Out of every flood. I wouldn't even bat an eyelash. Feeling like a newborn fawn I could rest by yawning During days that didn't last so long. Back in the days without drought, Water would wash away the disgrace. I never saw mistakes as sin. Only peace was to be found. I'm remembering my gleam.

Are you even listening? Do my words even cross your mind? Do you hear my whimpers As I walk on eggshells? Can you take a moment and listen To my fears that take hold of me? Will you break me free From drowning forlorn? Is anybody even listening? I've heard this broken record a thousand times. But now I can finally hear my own voice. Am I even listening? Do my words even resonate with my heart? Do I feel my whimpers As I walk on eggshells? Can I take a moment and speak To my fears that take hold of me? Will I break myself free From drowning forlorn? Am I even listening? I'll sing myself this song a thousand times. So now I can finally take my life back!

My gaze has been on saturated signs That light up the drunken nights. My motion’s become tipsy to life's unease. The pretty colors lie to me. This detour has me consumed. It's unsettling allure has me in a trance. The anxiety excites me to dance. It's got my heart in a quake. What else will this addiction take? Neon lights whispering temptations, Having me dream through the nightmares. I took sips from the tabooed elixir. It gave me skin so thick That fear never again clicked. My heart, hardened like a cocoon, Covered in a shell strong enough to stop A backstabbing blade trying to take my life. It wasn't until I couldn't extend my hand To someone trying to jump off the land That I realized I made a deal with the devil.

I can taste the cleanliness of water, But I too can taste the filth from drowning I can smell the sweet scent of my perfume, But I too can smell the fear I'm trying to hide. I can see the high marks on my grades, But I too can see the misses from perfection. I can hear your voice of reassurance, But I too hear my voice in self doubt. I can feel the warmth of your arms around me, But I too feel the cold in my broken heart. It's like I'm in two places at once.