JHem

I have my hands on the wheel. I stay the course of what's been real. I've only been on this road before. But I'm not driving myself through repetition no more. I'd steer to the right and go where I've always gone. But it's time I counter steered my life's course. I'm tired of living in the same monotony. I'll grind this track's bumpy asphalt And race through this corner I've trapped myself in. This is what happens when there's nothing left! I thought I knew where I had to go. But I hit the brakes to a screeching halt. It's time I turned my life around in a 180. I've rushed through the same direction, But now I've gone and hit this traction Bringing me to a newfound place of action. I was running outta mileage. I had to tune up for my new destination. I'm all fired up with my new ignition. I'm holding onto this finely tuned grip This is me letting myself all out drift.

I keep adding fuel to the fire. I rush in with no fear hastily. I felt the fire igniting me to move on. I just wished these cold floors would be gone. I lived vicariously as some to admire. I ran too fast on ice to keep balanced. I would let my momentum carry me away. I wanted no more to do with self pity. Along the way I lost my footing. I couldn't pull myself up without falling. I could not longer look back at my trail. I just breathed in never wanting to fail. Eventually I fell apart in the middle of nowhere. I no longer began to care I was a wishful dog chasing after it's own tail. I abandoned who I was to dream in a happy trance.

I let my nerves get to me It's like lightning striking me I get cold feet wanting to leave I get paranoia in secrecy I'm afraid to be alone But I'm terrified of company! Just stay with me, stay with me But don't put your gaze on me! I'm cold when I think of the spotlight I get nervous and shake every night. My eyes are always over my shoulder Looking back, my body gets colder. When I'm with you I feel smothered Like I'm here making you bothered. When I'm alone I sink in darkness. Panting until I'm left breathless. I wish you would see my dilemma. I wish I could scream it, But my voice becomes tightly knit. But tears are hidden without an umbrella.

I loved the hours in the day Filled with hope and beauty But you took that away I used to put all I had in my soul But the stress began taking its toll I had my heart in everything I felt home with every being When you took my love away from me You took away the biggest part of me I used to live whole-heartedly But apathy has startled me I feel no need to put my best foot forward My life began spiraling downward Some may say I’ve become a coward My mind used to wonder It followed the mysteries But sadness has made me numb-er Who I used to be is lost in history You may say I began to live haphazardly But I had to live mindlessly Or heartbreak would consume me wholly

Wrote lyrics for a friend's song. https://youtu.be/PQGqNAKgxws Going back home Returning to nostalgia I haven't felt this way in years I'm back to better days Oh, yeah, I'm going back to better days I kick my shoes to the air Plant myself firm And I'm beginning to feel that way again I’m feeling that way again Oh yeah. I'm feeling that way again It felt like yesterday. Oh yeah. Having my heart run out to play It felt like yesterday. Oh yeah. As my thoughts never run out of words to say Those were the days I love to remember Those were the days I love to remember Those were better days, those were better days Those were the days I remembered when I met you

It can be difficult to let words flow, From the river of your soul. It can be devastating to be firm, And speak how you feel. It can be heartbreaking to have resentments, But that's why you learn to live from your heart. Cat's got our tongue on feelings to be shared. But you look for her to be able to let go. Groundless from fear of integrity, But you find your ground in insanity. You build up a lie from glamour filled safety, But living a lie isn't what you came here for. We didn't come together to fill empty space With mindless pleasure caught in stasis. We fell together to look for the trace That made living wholeheartedly our nemesis. There's no time to live back in yesterday. It's time we pulled each other together, So we can make our way back to grace. Our hands together for the perfect pace. Remembering better days was our place. Always wanting easier times when Just being alive was our homemade Zen, ...

I drafted behind teachers and peers. Tailing them, hoping my insecurities disappear. Hoping that following someone great, There'd be no reason for me to make mistakes. I had the honor of walking in someone's footsteps, But I was never safe in my own skin hoping to be contempt. I wanted to be faultless. No more reason to fall apart endlessly. I looked for perfection in masters. I tried to become their heir. Hoping mastery would prevent me from being hopeless. It was my desire to be without being messy. The other side was full of rich, green pastures. But it had become too much to bare! I chased after glory. I followed them thoughtlessly. I became a robot programed to become you My silent whisper for perfection was self defeating. I wanted to be the predecessor to legends. But that destroyed my individuality. It wasn't until I found my ground That strength came to me As I no longer feared myself.