XI. A Letter For You

I know life can be quite the b-word at times. Sometimes you have something amazing to share, but someone will tell you it's not good enough, with many looking right past it. At times you have that little glimmer in you, and yet you begin to believe the best of you has no place here, so you let it slip away where no one, not even yourself, is allowed to see that there was a moment you took to admire yourself for who you are then and there.

I'm sorry if you feel like you aren't allowed to feel happy yet, to feel like you can't be okay now. I'm not here to tell you you shouldn't be sad, that anger isn't okay to hold, to indulge in apathy when you're overwhelmed from the cruelty of many things. This coin is two sided. I also see you who is happy, who is okay. You may even be too afraid of being judged to show it off. I know what that's like too. To not feel at all, or too little, or too much. Maybe you're hurt by being a little "too," but just know that hinge of "too" is where that little glimmer hides. 

It's okay to be angry. Allow your mind, body, and soul to give you the energy you need to stand up for what's genuine in you. It's okay if you've numbed out to it all. You've been giving yourself to everyone for far too long; please let your numbness be the pillow and blanket where may find rest with the person you've neglected for far too long. It's okay if you're feeling sad right now, grief is here because you allowed your heart to care, and I find that absolutely beautiful. If you're happy but too afraid to let it show, the person who's permission you need most is your own. Give yourself permission to feel fully how much you want to show up for the world, for life, for yourself. If you haven't reached this place of peace yet, please be gentle. Even if you can't allow yourself to be just the way you are right now, know that I support you in the simplicity of being just that. Even if it's a passing gesture, I say thank you for hiding, thank you for showing up, thank you for being you. There's nothing you can be but you, just as the universe can't be anything but what it is. Give yourself to yourself as life is already allowing you to be just you. Thank you, love.