JHem

This is a story of poetry A tale of a ribbon pulled too tightly One end dried from her deeds The other -- a heart with wings Willing to take the lead Her heart was soft Her heart was slow But her heart was willing indeed To let it be known That she was loved For a tender time Her heart tugged To pull her in To show her it's okay Things don't have to be this way Even during the mess When we're intertwined I'll be here to help you rest Yet she began to pull away Whispering to her heart I can't believe things are okay Don't take this lightly For her heart grasped too tightly And the closely kept ribbon fell apart

Constantly looking Always searching For something to fill The void in my heart The heartache I carry with me The insecurity inside of me Following me As I wish for something pure Constantly looking Always searching To mend this absence To be filled with presence This pain I hold with me This trail of disparity Has its way with me As I fall into the same old bore This is the tour Of one who's forlorn Writing about her unborn lore From a love that was torn

Oh, today It's no longer yesterday I can't wait 'till tomorrow, Or I'll be filled with sorrow Because it won't be okay Step by step, Moment by moment, I can't help but feel The fear of the next day Being in my way I'm not okay, It's not okay, Where is the way... I can't help but shiver, As the void brings me to quiver The tilt of never being okay Stuck in my own dismay It's not okay To fall my own way What else is there to say...

What if the heart breaking was a good thing? What if what was breaking wasn't the heart, but the armoring around it? What if the pain is just the heart shedding off that thick skin you built to block you out from everything that makes you vulnerable, open? What if the ache brought you back to the the most tender part of yourself? What if an unguarded heart was a call home to love? No matter how many times she breaks my heart, I can never hold onto the anger that arises. No matter how many times she brings tears to my eyes, I can never think any less of her. No matter how painful, each heartbreak humbles me to see remember our humaness. Perhaps this is a cleansing of conditioning to the innocence we're covering up? A surrender to an all inclusive love of allowing without argument? An open heart, no?

From the crack of dawn Till the dust settled I couldn't help but fawn Over the way you made me curious Of how someone could be so kind Yet mysterious In the way you had showered me with attention Only now to withhold it Leaving me as another passerby Just another guy As you say 'goodbye' I guess I was just a pawn

I wish I didn't have to understand So I could just be on my way Without the doubt Of my actions being incorrect I wish I didn't have to worry And let go of the anxiety Of allowing me To be me I wish there were no rules So I can learn again To be humbled When I stumble I wish I didn't try to impress people As I try to play what they'd like to see An idea of me That's no longer free I wish I could open my heart Without the fear of being undermined As I step out of line By the way I tumble A wish Ever so subtle A plea for someone To love me as I am, right now There's no more time here to waste

Embracing the unknown Going forth Not knowing What will be shown? Treading the unfamiliar Without a gander Or wonder What will be the deal breaker If I follow my heart? What will happen If I went towards What breaks my heart? How will I live With a heart broken open By my own innocence? Is this a call home To where I once knew There’s nothing wrong With what I choose? Even if I end up Alone with tired eyes Sinking in the blues? After I went to play Not knowing it was unsafe To being true? Is this what happens When I look myself in the eyes and say I love you?