JHem

You know... I’m somewhat... lost... But I feel something... I think... Or I’m just lying... to myself... There’s this spot--it’s in a gap. Covered by grievous thorns. Thorns protecting its rose. It feels painful, I guess. It feels nice, I guess. I feel... I guess... There’s a demon on the outside, With a crying child deep inside. It doesn’t feel much, anymore. It reeks of poison. It lays discontent. It feels deprived. Blinded by ignorance, Anxious of every moment, It lives in fear of inadequacy. Veiled by loneliness, By fear of worthlessness, The soft spot is then guarded. The heart becomes shielded, Shielded by the darkness, Hardened, if you will. Or shrouded. Numb. </3 ~ .

Once upon a time I’d look into your eyes So ill feelings would die I saw a guide within you The way to freedom A calm serenity Gazing about tonight I whisper into the night You brighten up my light What did you see in me To give me a chance To be your friend? Albeit, a short while? Yet, what called upon you To not see things through So our bond went adieu? I never knew... I saw great pain in your eyes Covering a delicate stream A stream of warmth You were like an angel Ashamed of her own grace Masking her own wings In fear of feeling vulnerable Too afraid of being ashamed Of being congruent with love I prayed greatly That I’d be the one To open your heart But our paths cross no more. So...This is...Goodbye... I guess...? Take care, miss.

What is fear? Where does fear come from? What is being feared? If it’s all imagined Is our fear A desperate attempt To prove we’re lovable? To reassure that we’re loved? By submitting to an idea An idea of pleasing others To please our fear? The fear of not being enough? The fear of love withdrawn? The fear of being unloved?

Is it possible That inner pain Stems from a lie You tell yourself? I couldn’t stand by When you said goodbye I felt apart of me die I believed it was I The reason why Our bond scattered high Into the nights sky Did I begin a lie? I couldn’t help but cry