JHem

I've had my lips burnt. It took a little bit of addiction. But I was just being a little runt. I sold my soul to be a comedian. Kisses would come in groves when heated. But all the undressing eyes gave no salvation. This is no way to be treated. The corner of my room became a lake. A place for me to heal was needed. Then came along the burning summer. Snowcone in hand with a smile behind a fan. I couldn't help but let out only stutters. Arms held me like a blanket fighting winter, Dousing the ills from embers of anxiety. Every icy graze on my lips reminds me of her.

Do I embrace being the calm your head may rest against, or the dork that speaks to the beat of your heart? If I have no voice to hear in the first place, does the me called upon matter? Agency only comes when I allow myself to be. Even if another pair of footsteps were to clement beside me, accountability is standing on my own two feet. Why wait for the perfect person, when I can treat myself the way I wish to be with you? I could carve my own growth. Spend time in the kitchen to prep for me. I'll get to the point where I cut out what doesn't satisfy my cravings. Letting the seasons come to flavor the day afresh. I'll heat things until excitement boils, but won't forget a slow burn savored. I plant myself in a garden of wishes. But I know La La Land will only keep ideas dancing. I rose to the challenge of weeding out unfertile ground. Let my hands bathe in Mother Nature to grow you a bed of flowers. I'm soothed by the shade of the tree I water. Oh, won't you loo...

  PROLOGUE I. FOLKLORE II. GIANT WALKERS III. WHYTE RAIN CLOUDS IV. WHISPERING LIPS V. KILLING A GOD VI. CATHING THE EYE VII. TWIN-TAILS VIII. RUMOR-MILL IX. RESTITUTION X. AN ISLAND UNTO ONESELF XI. HEAVEN'S GREEN LAKE XII. RUBY'S RESOLVE XIII. LOVER'S LIME XIV. PREDISPOSITION XV. PROOF OF ROYAL BLOOD XVI. HEAVENLY XVII. FEATHERLESS WINGS XVIII. HIGHER FORCE XIX. RUBY WHYTE EPILOGUE

Such pace let my lips get caught in a trance. Striking until the room became unsafe to enter. Sparks would fly until outlines were lost in a heatwave. With the tragedy of no match caught in flames. Mind me for seeking excitement with words such as wish, Anxiety for the tension that hover over insincere flirts. Asking me to distinguish a tease from a lie? Cornerning me to ask, "who am I?" Crossing yes and no to convince a naughty or nice list. I let my tongue brush against the aftertaste of sin. To give reason for my chest to make its voice heard. But pleasure got my eyes soft in ignorance. I could tell you all the reason for this chase. Belief told my hunger to quell with haste. I was pulled in by seductive hands. Pushed by no desire to commit. Equilibrium by face to cement. My head found its center laying on your lap. Shoulders loosen from hands brushing my cheek. Like you gave me reason to believe it'll be okay. Words from before me screamed, "This is for those who...

Generations before put sight to paper, Newborns are gifted to bring anew. Cycles bring sunrise to light the dark. When did growth become grew? People in scriptures left their mark, At the cost of letting discovery taper.

Lightning kicked my feet off the ground. Common sense scolded me to go right. But the thumps in my chest poked a hole, Allowing God to grab me by the heart. Little whispers begin to say, "This is for the greater good." Little melts in my ache gave way. No need to be bound by "should." If self-care stood tall, Call upon me, vanity. Clench your fist, sanity. "Only the selfish fall." Splashes of red trailed behind me To cover the shadow showing clearly. Could I let go of the answer, To let the clouds part forever?

Blooming amidst the setting sun, Flames burnt scars against my chest. Love became the healing oasis, yet... Strawberries pierced through my veins, From tingling lips knocking me over. Bringing all of me to my knees. Empty space devoured me whole-y Until vanity of you became solely. Transgression lit up my unholy. The clouds let themselves free. I let God's judgement wash over me. As my heart missed the mark hastily. I had faith my eyes let me see, So how did toxins become my lover? I cleanse my pupils by sinking them in rain. Is karma the reason for my debt? Is it not enough to be my best? Is this my will being undone?